Thursday, March 02, 2017

Story of every Damaged Girl .

Why hate is so strong than love??
I was with him for half a decade , his love was never as convenient and real but his hatred is what resonat till date... Is it because he truly hated me than he ever loved ?? why can't I remember his love but can sense every bit of hate? Can pain overlap happiness??
When he Cheated on me, when he Bullied Me, when he called me a witch, when he slept with her and yet unsatisfied he tried to destroy me more.. Everything that he ever did was in the name of hate and to feed his ego but its funny because in the beginning it was all about love and happiness but in the end it was about making me miserable..

We have come a long way from where we began and I left in pain and bitterness. I know the love I adored is conjured and it will never reach the surface again but still its painful to even think we were ever In love. The only thing that dominates now is his hate and where his presence make my inner demons feel inferior. Even tho he is long gone, the memories haunt me everyday and taunt me in the end for falling in love with the monster..
"The only thing that remained of our love story is our Hate story."

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

I Kissed a Frog !!

This Valentine’s Day I feel appreciated, loved and alive seriously tho for a girl, love is a major priority and we can all blame Disney and chick flick on that. If it weren't for Disney a prince would have never saved the girl in the ending but its a mood swinger when PMS'ing, Even an animated character look totally kissable.... we forget everything just by that thought of being loved like a princess, Even if it is a cartoon, still heart wants what it wants. Isn’t it the same way around for guys?? It takes a struggle to find his Fair maiden, from the beginning till the end.
And YES! the chase for love is an oldie in books. If you get fortunate and find the prince charming or cinderella your lucky in love. For few, they have to take chances and risk to find the shell which holds the real pearl inside it.. So if you’re lucky, you are just lucky but for some, this process is a more like a disappointment because that's what they get in the end..  So love is pure luck?? Absolutely not! 

Love is like a character you develop over time only with someone special and like an infant.  it grows to be exactly how you nurture it... so love is not luck or respect nor understanding don't ever go for anyone because they just care, caring is not even close to love, it’s just part of love, find someone who considers you for real..Seriously if it's not genuine it will not last long and fantasy is better than pretend lover. Instead find that person who makes you grow every step, a person with whom you want to grow old.. I got the point" grow old "  completely wrong but I finally understood "grow old" as in achieving each other dreams and  becoming a beautiful being together... Life is not all about love, even Dreams and well-being need attention from time to time and if they understand that they are worth it and if not and they are expecting you to worship them and just clingy?!! amen.

People who are in complicated relationship and just confused about love, you might say love is a bullshit!! yes it is! But if you can just think, Who painted a picture of love in your head ?? Technically its you.. because its just an illusion like a fairytales and an idea which will never leave you, you will always end up chasing something called love .

Just learn to love yourself in the end. Because if you can't appreciate yourself ,you will never understand true love and Love don't happen it's born. So don't make love just a Commercial thing because happily ever after is real.

PS I kissed a frog not a prince..

Thursday, February 02, 2017

Into the horizon

I walked to the shore and waited till sun sustained into the horizon
imprinting every shade of gold that illuminated in the evening sky
I stood on the edge,
when the sun immersed in between sky and sea.
wishing on the green flash to retain the lost essence of my life.

My heart had desired for love but resonated around despair
and it drained the strength to outrun the darkness
But my thoughts were never at rest,
until I decided to let go
I took a step away and did not look back.

Heedful of elsewhere, the diversion set me free
the footprints on the sand were washed away, with no laments
And when I looked back,
I watched the most beautiful sunset of my life.
There my pain settled to stay golden but rest in darkness.